Fast Enough
by angoradebs
Summary: Neville loves Hermione, but he can't have her. A short look at Neville's years at Hogwarts and his tale of unrequited love. PreOOTP


  
  
Disclaimer: Characters belong to J.K. Rowling.   
  
This is my first fic, so don't expect much. R/R if you want, don't mind flames, just want feedback.   
  
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It's not easy being alone.   
  
For an example, look at the boy over there. The slightly pudgy one with the sad brown eyes. Between the boy with the lightening bolt scar and the bushy-haired girl reading a thick book.   
  
He's in the middle of a large, rowdy group. The very middle.   
  
But he's not a part of that group.   
  
_ "Neville, why don't you go play with the other children?"  
"They don't like me, Gran." _  
  
He cries at night.   
  
No one knows, though the boy with the scar suspects.   
  
He cries for the parents who don't recognize him. He cries for the pet toad who died during the summer. He cries for himself.   
  
How did he become so alone?   
  
_ "Really, Neville, it's so simple. Why can't you make even the simplest of potions?"  
"Sorry Gran." _  
  
They laugh at him, sometimes.   
  
The Slytherins.   
  
They call him names.   
  
"Hey Widebottom," Malfoy calls. "Maybe Granger would like you if you could actually do magic, you pathetic excuse for a pureblood!"   
  
How did he know? His deepest secret revealed for all to hear...   
  
No...   
  
He and the Slytherins were alone in the hall.   
  
His secret was safe.   
  
_ "Hello! My name's Hermione Granger. May I sit here with you? This is so exciting, I had no idea I was a witch, I do hope I'll be all right. Say, are you crying? What's the matter?"  
"I l-lost m-my toad."  
"Well, as we're on a train, it can't have gone far. Come on, I'll help you look." _   
  
She never laughed at him.   
  
Not that first day on the train, when he was crying. Not when he asked her for help with potions. Not when he asked if they were friends.   
  
Not when he asked her to the ball.   
  
She had blushed. And Neville, poor Neville, knew. Knew she'd say no. He had hastened to save himself.   
  
"I mean, as friends, of course, because I really think of you as a friend. A wonderful friend. And you've been so nice, helping me with potions, and I just thought..."   
  
"Oh, Neville. Thank you. If you had asked me yesterday I would have said yes, I really would have..."   
  
"It's all right, Hermione. I just wasn't fast enough."   
  
"The next one's yours, Neville, if you want it. The next ball, I promise."   
  
"No, Hermione, I only want it if I ask you first."   
  
And she had cried.   
  
He wasn't fast enough.   
  
_ "Wow, Hermione, you look really pretty."  
"Thank you, Neville."  
"Viktor's lucky."  
"Vik... How did you know it was Viktor?"  
"I saw you in the library. Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone."  
"Thanks, Neville. I really appreciate that. Ginny will be down in a moment." _  
  
Was he ever fast enough?   
  
He was fast enough in asking Ginny, before Harry did.   
  
Rather, before Ron offered Ginny to Harry.   
  
But he knew. They both knew. Ginny was his second choice. And Ginny only went because she wouldn't have another chance.   
  
It didn't matter. He had seen long ago.   
  
_ A coy glance during transfiguration. A blatant stare in charms. _  
  
He sees, had seen, the way she looked at him.   
  
After the ball, everyone had talked. "Did you hear that row between Granger and Ron Weasley? I'll bet they're snogging by final exams." "It's obvious they're in love."   
  
He knew the truth.   
  
_ Flushed cheeks during the quidditch match. Fear etched on the face during the Tri-Wizard tasks. _  
  
He knew she loved Harry.   
  
Known since third year. Hoped it wasn't true, but he couldn't deny it.   
  
Yes, it was obvious, wasn't it, that Ron loved Hermione. And she loved him back, only not the same way.   
  
He had seen her when Harry and Cedric took the cup.   
  
He wasn't fast enough to catch her when she fainted.   
  
_ "Hermione, dear, are you all right?"  
"Mum, she's fine, just a bit shocked is all."  
"She is not fine, Ron, she fainted!"  
"Stuff it Ginny, this doesn't concern you!"  
"All of you stuff it. I just need to sit down." _  
  
Fred Weasley had caught her. She had been right in front of him when it happened, just sort of fell into his arms.   
  
Once she had awakened she sat down and cried. Great, racking sobs that shook her entire body.   
  
It had broken her.   
  
He couldn't watch; he had went to find Dean and Seamus. They were shocked as well, but no one was crying. Lavender's eyes glistened, though, as she kept her eyes on the pitch.   
  
_ "Dead! Diggory, dead!" _  
  
He saw her in the common room the next day. By the fire. Her eyes were rimmed red and her hair was messier than usual.   
  
She didn't notice him. She was speaking to the fire.   
  
"It's broken him. Whatever happened when he took that cup, it has broken him."   
  
Oh, Hermione. Whatever happened when he took that cup... It's broken you as well.   
  
_ A kiss on the cheek as she says good-bye. _  
  
He had seen their farewell on the platform.   
  
He had gone home and cried.   
  
The summer passed in a whirl. As did the first half of term. He doesn't know why, but he can't remember a thing about what happened during those times.   
  
He remembers the ball. It was held on the last day before Christmas break. It was announced three weeks before.   
  
She went with Harry. He had asked her straightaway, as friends. She had smiled.   
  
"Of course, Harry, I'd love to."   
  
She had glanced in his direction, mouthed "I'm sorry." He shook his head. It was he who was sorry. He hadn't been fast enough.   
  
_ Spinning around on the dance floor. _  
  
They had shared their first kiss at the ball.   
  
All the Weasleys were shocked. The twins seemed happy enough for them. Ron and Ginny looked betrayed.   
  
Neville had known. He had known but it still hurt.   
  
That night he cried. Harry suspected. But he didn't know.   
  
_ A grin across the table. Hands held down the corridor. _  
  
He saw her three years after graduation. On Diagon Alley, at Flourish and Blotts. She was pregnant.   
  
She was happy.   
  
She hugged him. Said it was wonderful to see him again. Asked him to the Leaky Cauldron for lunch.   
  
He had tried to say no. It would hurt too much. But he couldn't help but wonder how her life was going.   
  
Harry, he knew, worked for the Department of Mysteries. Hermione said it was curiosity that drove him there. Hermione herself worked for the Department of Magical Transportation. Ron was a reserve keeper for the Chudley Cannons, and Ginny had recently landed a job as a reporter for Witch Weekly. Hermione was five months pregnant with her first child.   
  
"Boy or girl?"   
  
"Don't know. But if it's a boy we'll name him James. Lily for a girl."   
  
Silence. Then...   
  
"Oh, the time! I'm sorry Hermione, I'm due back to work! It's been a lovely chat! See you around!"   
  
A kiss on the cheek, then a small _pop_, and he was gone.   
  
He never saw her again. But a year and a half later, he received a letter and a photo.   
  
He hadn't been fast enough.   
  
But it didn't matter anymore. His Hermione was happy.   
  
_ A picture of a beautiful little girl at her first birthday party. Bright green eyes and bushy brown hair. _  
  
He smiled. 


End file.
